My Fantastic Friend Wanted To Write; Kaden Clements

A Cherokee is telling his grandson about a fight 

that is going on inside himself. 

He said it is between 2 wolves.

One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, 

fearful thinking, greed, arrogance, self-pity, 

guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, 

false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, 

humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, 

truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute 

and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."

~ Author Unknown ~

There is good in all of us. It matters not where we are from, how old we are, each of us has this gift within us known as the light of Christ. I promise you that there are a million reasons to be sad and upset in this life. Life was never ment to be easy or smooth. But if you need help or comfort or someone to cry to, BUCK UP. Christ died for us to be able to find the joy in tribulation. Happiness is a choice, not a chance. If you want happiness, then find someone to bring happiness to. We all sometimes get caught up in our own issues to notice those around us whom we can give aid to. God has put specific people in our lives STRATEGICALLY for us to help. I promise that we will better deal with our own trials when we are more concerned about others. "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than someone to love."

Voices #5.

Don't you love it when you find an artist that can sing and make music in a way that just hits you square in the chest every time? Where it's just good, clean, meaningful music? Owl City fits those descriptions for me, both Adam's old and new music is just so fantastic.

Shooting Star - Owl City

The Saltwater Room - Owl City (Newer Version)

Quote of the Week.

       "I once had someone come up to me and say, 'Nobody cares about me, they all say they care but no one wants to be around me.' I offered some advice and sympathy, but in my head all I could think was, Of course no one wants to be around you. You're bitter and you couldn't find happiness if you were sliding down a rainbow into a pot of gold. This person whined and complained about every little thing, they made things hard. They didn't let them selves be happy because being sad was their way of crying out for help. But in reality those are the cries for help that people tend to ignore, because it's frustrating... So here's something I learned a long time ago, YOU are what makes your life depressing or exciting. YOU control your attitude, not everybody else. If you don't feel like your friends are giving you what you want, find different friends, it's not their job to change just to make you feel special or fit your fantasies. If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself that today will be just as sad as yesterday then of course it's going to suck. If you aren't content with what God has given you, then you're going to live your whole life looking for something you're never ever going to find. What kind of a life is that? So be happy, life is so much easier when you make the choice to be happy."

                                                            - Billy Collins

You're Never Too Old to Learn.

       I'm part of an extracurricular program at my school called, "Key Club". No, we don't make keys, we are a volunteer service and fundraising group of youth run by youth, internationally. This past weekend I went to our District Convention in Salt Lake City. It included major service projects, many speakers, elections, caucusing, and training. Going to this convention meant that I had to step out of my comfort zone... WAY out of my comfort zone, and I won't lie it wasn't all that fun at times, it was hard, but it was SO worth it and I learned so much.

#1: I learned that life is hard. I don't care if you're a celebrity, I don't care if you're battling an eating disorder, I don't care if you have cancer, I don't care if you're 5 or 25, I don't care if you're fighting a broken home or if the mirror seems to mock you, LIFE IS HARD FOR EVERYONE. I think we forget that, that we aren't the only one's struggling to rise above a sea of trial. Sometimes we think, "Wow, I can't believe they're complaining, why can't they just get over it?" But in truth, whether is hunger or your self-esteem, everyone has got it hard at some point, that's just life.

#2: So life is hard. But you can do hard things. I look around at some of the things that my friends and family have had to go through and it never ceases to amaze me that they are still the wonderful people that they are. No mountain is too tall to climb, God would never set something before you that he knew you couldn't do.

#3: There are times in life where you are going to fail. Success will seem so close, and you will have worked so hard and tried so many times, and yet you will fail. You will fall flat on your face and sometimes people will see you fall and walk away, thinking that you could easily pick yourself back up. But in reality your arms don't have any strength left, and you are still on the ground in a heap of failure, and that's okay. Sometimes we need to fail in order to find the things that we will succeed in. So never give up. 

#4: This world, in all of it's anger, grief and despair, in all of it's imperfection, flaw and selfishness, is really filled with so many wonderful people just waiting to shine. People that have so much potential and knowledge who are destined for great things. And you are one of them. There is so much good that can be done, so do it.

#5: Attitude is a small thing that can change everything. Sure you can't control fate, but you can control how you respond to it, and that is everything. You hold your own destiny, you control how you feel, so feel wonderful. 

"Make a world that has less to do with pain, and more to do with beauty."

The People Next to You.

Look around you...
Who are the people sitting next to you?
The people next to you...
Are the greatest miracles you will ever meet at the moment...
And the greatest mysteries.

The people next to you...
Are a unique universe of experience
Seething with necessity and possibility,
Dread and desire,
Smiles and frowns,
Laugher and tears,
Fears and hopes...
All struggling to find expression.

The people next you...
Believe in something
Stand for something
Count for something
Labor for something
Wait for something
Run from something
Run towards something.

The people next to you...
... Are more than any description
... Are more than any explanation
The people next to you...
Are searching...
For meaning
For inner peace
For self-esteem
For something they already have...
They just need to realize that.

The people next to you...
... Have problems and fears just like you
... Are often undecided
... But are endowed with great strength in the face of adversity
And are able to survive the most unbelievable difficulties
And challenges.
The people next to you
Are combinations of everyone they've ever met.

The people next to you...
... Have something they can do better than anyone else in the world
They have strengths they do not even recognize
... Need to talk about their abilities
... Need you to listen.

The people next to you...
Need a friend
Want to understand you
Care for you.
The people next to you
Are special human beings
And so are you.

You will want to get to know these people, and one day you'll understand that you're the person sitting next to them.

Small Moments Make Up a Fairy Tale.

       There's this moment, a moment when you're flying down a road at 80 mph, a moment when the stereo is blaring the perfect song, a moment when all the windows are down, a moment when your hair is whipping around, a moment when you're laughing with people you're really close to, a moment of pure fidelity. You feel infinite, like it could never end or get better.
       There's this moment, a moment when you're legs are dangling off a roof, a moment when you dance like crazy, a moment when the newly found sun reaches for your skin, a moment when all you hear is laughter, a moment when throwing a volleyball down onto a trampoline is the most fun thing you've ever done, a moment of pure happiness. You feel weightless.
       There's this moment, a moment when you're sitting around a campfire, a moment when it feels like the flames are licking your face, a moment when guitars are being played and voices softly sing, a moment of laziness. You feel tired, but in a way that makes you want to smile and be alive.
       There's this moment, a moment when you scream, a moment when driving a golf cart seems like the coolest thing in the world, a moment when it feels rebellious as if sneaking away is dangerous, a moment when two people make you laugh so hard you fall, a moment when you hit the curb at the park, a moment when your legs are freezing, a moment when car lights are your only guide, a moment when you're on top of the world. You feel like you've found everything you've ever needed.
       There's this moment, a moment when it's pitch black, a moment when the slightest creak of the floor makes you jump, a moment when you're trying you're hardest to be stealthy, a moment when the scariest thing of your life is a Nerf gun, a moment when bullets are flying and you're laughing at the kid who got his gun jammed, a moment when everything that doesn't seem scary is scary and the things that are scary, really aren't. You're heart is beating, and you can just be yourself.

These moments happened last night for me, and it was probably the best 10 hours of my life, I've never been more happy to just be me. I could replay it again and again, over and over and never get bored, never get sad. It was perfect. 

Look in the Mirror a Little Longer.

I'm aware that this video is a little bit odd, a little bit different... But I think it's very powerful. 

To This Day -  Shane Koyczan

Quote of the Week.

"Some of the greatest battles you will face, will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul."
                                                - Ezra Taft Benson

Love Thy Brother.

Why do you have rights?
Because you're a human?
Because you're a religious person?
Because you're straight?

Why does that give you more reasons to have those rights?
Because it means you're 'normal'?
Because 'that's just the way it should be'?
Because you have such a bigger knowledge about the world?

EQUALITY. 
       "Kill it, kill it now.", "Freak, you're a freak.", "Oh my gosh what is wrong with you? That's disgusting." That's what they told her. They spit disgusting words at her, because she was different. Because she loved different people. Cowards hid behind screens and keyboards, telling her that she wasn't human. It was easy for them to judge, they didn't know how it felt, they didn't know that it wasn't her choice. It was just how she was. She cried out for help, pleading to make the hatred end. Why couldn't they just take a moment to understand?
       But it didn't end. She felt as if she was being repeatedly stabbed, tortured. The pain was too much. Her heart hammered and she threw up thinking about having to go to school or out in public. She lay in bed in the dark and cried, cried for a better world. Cried for God to save her. She was drowning, drowning in everybody else's words, drowning in sobs, drowning in pain, drowning in blood. She was choking, ready to end it all. She wanted out. And she knew that even when she was gone that people would judge her for leaving. That's when they'd whisper to each other, "I'm glad the freak is gone.", "What a coward, it couldn't have been that bad.".  But it got to the point where she didn't even care.
       Slowly, in the night she crept up the stairs from her bedroom. Walking silently into the kitchen she opened the medicine cabinet and looked at bottles of safety. Bottles that promised a happier place when she woke up. She grinned in a crazed way as she reached for an orange container, popping the lid off she dumped it's contents into her shaking palm. In her other hand she held a large glass of cool water. She was ready. She tipped her head back and swallowed a large hand full of white pills, then gulped the water. Then she repeated the process. After finishing the glass of water and the pills, she walked over to the couch to lay down. She was ready to sleep with a sick satisfaction in her stomach, fully knowing she probably wouldn't wake up. That comforted her, and she slept, and she didn't wake up.
      And they did whisper, and some even smirked, and some didn't care, and a few wept, and even less tried to make a difference from what happened...

I'm not a lesbian, or transgender, or black, or disabled, or anything like that, but that doesn't stop me from looking around at the way our world treats people. People who are just like us, people who love, people who struggle, people who are just trying to get it right and figure it all out. It disgusts me.
Who on earth are to say who deserves what, who made you the king, who are you to judge? What makes you deserve the rights of jobs, freedom, marriage, speech and not other people? Do you really think that because you're in a certain religion, are a certain race or gender it automatically gives you privileges that others shouldn't receive? Is that really how you believe it should be? If that's the way you think, you really need to step back and look at your imperfections and realize that in reality you really don't deserve any rights either. Nobody does if that's what defines equality.
I don't care who knows it, I will be the first person to stand up for someone who is treated unfairly because of sexual orientation, religion or anything like that. Be yourself. I don't care who you love, that isn't for me to judge.
You don't have to be okay with gay marriage or things that fall into that category, but you still need to respect those people as human beings.

Humans just like you.

Misery Loves Company.

I can't even explain how angry it makes me when skinny girls talk about looking fat in their clothes. I'm not kidding, it infuriates me. It makes me want to punch everybody in the entire universe and light cats on fire and drop kick small children.

SHUT UP, YOU'RE SKINNY. I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND TELL YOU HOW PRETTY AND SKINNY YOU ARE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Today, I've just been dumb. I've just sat around and let everything make me angry.
I'm just so angry. 
And it's making me more angry that I'm angry.
I'm dumb.
Haha, oh my gosh. What in the world is up with me today?

.......

K bye.

Voices #4.

I love The Fray. Always have, always will.
The end.

Little House - The Fray

Fresh Air, Fresh Mind.

Yesterday there wasn't any school.
So I walked.
      I turned off my phone, put on a coat, and walked. All over my little city that I love. I walked down streets that I never knew existed, I walked by tiny houses that showed just how old our town is. I walked by fields, and stables of horses, past backyards of barking dogs. I walked by an old friend's house, slowly I watched the house from a distance and replayed all of the memories in my mind. I could see us jumping on the trampoline, I watched us chase the dogs down the street, I saw me pulling you on a skateboard, I laughed at you yelling to a car full of boys, I cried as I watched you move out... as I watched you leave... When the pain was too sharp, I walked away. I went into little shops and old buildings, I sat on rough benches and day dreamed.
     I didn't have a set destination to where I was headed, but I kept walking. Turning down dirt roads, crossing train tracks. I walked away from the big roads and the sounds of cars and people. As I walked I thought about everything. Everything that had been sitting in the back of my mind. Boys, friends, the Gospel, school, my future, everything that needed a moment's thought. Every time that a subject started making me anxious, it was okay because I could think about something else.
      The crisp air bit at my cheeks and ears, the sunshine put life back into me. And after hours of walking, the cold had numbed my hands and my feet began to ache, but I had no desire to go home, none at all. Not back to a house full of kids that aren't my family, a house full of screaming and crying, a house where nothing truly belongs to me where I have to share everything, a house with a tired mom, a house that isn't peaceful. I couldn't do it, I needed to escape, home wasn't an option.
      I opened my wallet to look for cash when I saw my library card. I knew where to go. Quickly, I walked to the building that stood like a safe haven in front of me. Freezing, I hurried through the glass doors. BOOM, silence. Not a sound, no cars, no bust people, and books. Books. The ultimate escape. I picked out a few romances and adventures and looked for a place to sit. I chose a spot by the huge glass window and watched a few kids pass by underneath swaying pine trees. Then the peace came. As I read I let myself be absorbed. A strange, tingling peace engulfed me as I sat reading and thinking. I was like the perfect movie scene, with a perfectly satisfying ending.

If you ever need a place to find your head, take a walk and go to the library.

Voices #3.

     I love the original version of this song, I remember listening to it in Kindergarten. So when I came across this cover, I was ready to be unimpressed. But I was shocked at how good it is! Or at least in my opinion I think it's fantastic.

Sleeping With Sirens - Iris (Cover)

Quote of the Week.

"Now baby what if I can't forget about you? ... What's so good about picking up the pieces? What if I don't even want to? ... What if I don't even want to...?"
                                                    - Pierce the Veil: "Caraphernelia"

Leave Me Be.

She never did mind the dark,
It comforted her. 
She laid on the floor
And let her troubles sink into the carpet. 
Heart beating in her fingertips,
She didn't cry. 
She didn't move.
She didn't think.
She didn't feel. 
But the dark wrapped around her. 
Whispering into her blank mind,
You'll never get it right,
Every choice will be wrong,
You've already lost the game.
She didn't fight. 
The whispers were true. 
She didn't mind. 

Eventually she also sunk into the carpet, 
Into a land of make-believe. 
A land of promise. 
The night held her dark imagination. 
So many paths, 
So many opinions, 
So many people.
Even when she escaped, 
she cared too much about who was watching.
Who would see.
What they would think. 
What would they say? 

In her land of Dark,
She could see the shattered pieces. 
She could see spots of light. 
She could see people who cared. 
But there were people who laughed.
She could hide better in the dark.
Every move felt thick with guilt, 
A painful throbbing of regret. 
So she chose to hide.
Even though she should be picking up the pieces...

... But what if she didn't want to? 
What if losing herself felt better?
What if she didn't care that people were angry that she hurt,
What if she wanted selfish misery? 
Is that such a bad thing?

What if she just didn't care? 

A Repetitive Nightmare: Attached.

        I struggle as I try to run. Panic screams in my head and my legs refuse to move. The world moves at a regular pace, but I'm stuck in slow motion. I twist, thrashing about, desperate, I try to scream. I don't make a sound. Sweat drips off of my forehead and my body slowly becomes more lethargic.
       I begin to cry, still I don't make a sound. Fear boils in my stomach and I can feel my heart rattling inside my rib cage. Soon, my childish attempts to escape stop completely, I'm frozen. Everything becomes dark, voices whisper at me in the dark. Taunting, giggling. In one last frantic attempt I fling myself around, a string gets caught between my fingers. I gasp as I look closer, the string is attached to my hands. I begin to slowly look at the rest of my limps. Strings in my hands, feet, legs, arms and even my neck.
       Looking up to where the strings lead, it hits me, I'm a puppet.
       Then her face appears, looking down at me. My whole world collapses.

   She controls me. 

       Isn't it strange how your dreams can tell you more than your reality?