Fresh Air, Fresh Mind.

Yesterday there wasn't any school.
So I walked.
      I turned off my phone, put on a coat, and walked. All over my little city that I love. I walked down streets that I never knew existed, I walked by tiny houses that showed just how old our town is. I walked by fields, and stables of horses, past backyards of barking dogs. I walked by an old friend's house, slowly I watched the house from a distance and replayed all of the memories in my mind. I could see us jumping on the trampoline, I watched us chase the dogs down the street, I saw me pulling you on a skateboard, I laughed at you yelling to a car full of boys, I cried as I watched you move out... as I watched you leave... When the pain was too sharp, I walked away. I went into little shops and old buildings, I sat on rough benches and day dreamed.
     I didn't have a set destination to where I was headed, but I kept walking. Turning down dirt roads, crossing train tracks. I walked away from the big roads and the sounds of cars and people. As I walked I thought about everything. Everything that had been sitting in the back of my mind. Boys, friends, the Gospel, school, my future, everything that needed a moment's thought. Every time that a subject started making me anxious, it was okay because I could think about something else.
      The crisp air bit at my cheeks and ears, the sunshine put life back into me. And after hours of walking, the cold had numbed my hands and my feet began to ache, but I had no desire to go home, none at all. Not back to a house full of kids that aren't my family, a house full of screaming and crying, a house where nothing truly belongs to me where I have to share everything, a house with a tired mom, a house that isn't peaceful. I couldn't do it, I needed to escape, home wasn't an option.
      I opened my wallet to look for cash when I saw my library card. I knew where to go. Quickly, I walked to the building that stood like a safe haven in front of me. Freezing, I hurried through the glass doors. BOOM, silence. Not a sound, no cars, no bust people, and books. Books. The ultimate escape. I picked out a few romances and adventures and looked for a place to sit. I chose a spot by the huge glass window and watched a few kids pass by underneath swaying pine trees. Then the peace came. As I read I let myself be absorbed. A strange, tingling peace engulfed me as I sat reading and thinking. I was like the perfect movie scene, with a perfectly satisfying ending.

If you ever need a place to find your head, take a walk and go to the library.